Thursday, August 11, 2005
Jerk Off Queens
Pull me off.
DON'T FUCKING PULL IT OUT!!
That's right two, count 'em, 2 exclamation points.
Motherfucker.
How often do you get a handjob (probably more often than me) and after the second stroke you come to that cold realisation, if you don't stop this RIGHT NOW you will soon be in as much pain as if you had agreed to marry her. Possibly more (but I doubt it).
They see the odd handjob in a porno, heard about jerking off from a guy friend or two and they feel like they can just start pulling you off. Without even asking, "How does that feel?"
"IT FUCKING HURTS!"
It's a cock, not fucking plasticine. There's like nerve endings and stuff under all the skin and blood. Slow the fuck down. I know it feels hard but it's actually quite a sensitive area. Who would've thunk it?
And stroke it. Gently. Do not. I repeat. DO NOT try and pull it out.
Soft hands, hard cock. Remember that simple rule and you should do fine.
The point after all is to make me cum, not cry. Up and down. Be firm but gentle start slow and build speed. Don't just start at 1000 miles per hour. There's no need for any sideways movements, no twisting is necessary. Just up, then down.
It's a simple mechanism that has worked for thousands, if not millions, of years. So don't start fucking with it. Don't think that just because your vagina comes with a series of instruction manuals that you are automatically some kind of plumbing specialist.
Take some time out and educate yourself. Just ask, baby. All you have to do is ask. I will gladly give you all the instruction you can handle.
Especially if it means that I get to blow my load.
DON'T FUCKING PULL IT OUT!!
That's right two, count 'em, 2 exclamation points.
Motherfucker.
How often do you get a handjob (probably more often than me) and after the second stroke you come to that cold realisation, if you don't stop this RIGHT NOW you will soon be in as much pain as if you had agreed to marry her. Possibly more (but I doubt it).
They see the odd handjob in a porno, heard about jerking off from a guy friend or two and they feel like they can just start pulling you off. Without even asking, "How does that feel?"
"IT FUCKING HURTS!"
It's a cock, not fucking plasticine. There's like nerve endings and stuff under all the skin and blood. Slow the fuck down. I know it feels hard but it's actually quite a sensitive area. Who would've thunk it?
And stroke it. Gently. Do not. I repeat. DO NOT try and pull it out.
Soft hands, hard cock. Remember that simple rule and you should do fine.
The point after all is to make me cum, not cry. Up and down. Be firm but gentle start slow and build speed. Don't just start at 1000 miles per hour. There's no need for any sideways movements, no twisting is necessary. Just up, then down.
It's a simple mechanism that has worked for thousands, if not millions, of years. So don't start fucking with it. Don't think that just because your vagina comes with a series of instruction manuals that you are automatically some kind of plumbing specialist.
Take some time out and educate yourself. Just ask, baby. All you have to do is ask. I will gladly give you all the instruction you can handle.
Especially if it means that I get to blow my load.
# posted by Sariel Thrawn @ 4:51 am 
