Myriad

I went on a cruise this evening.

A drunken party boat.

You see the way it works is you pay double what you would normally pay to get into a club. Then you proceed to do the exact same thing you would do in any other such venue. Drink, dance, flirt, etc. You listen to the same crappy music. You buy the same drinks you would anywhere else. The only difference is you're on a boat crawling around the harbour instead of on solid ground in a bar or club.

I must admit that seeing the city from the water, all lit up like that was very pretty. But after the initial impact of that vision wears off all you have left is a freezing cold wind blowing through your hair as you stand on the top deck of this boat.

I got to see drunken friends and strangers embarrass themselves by submitting to the DJ's stupid fucking party games. I got to listen to shitty pop, disco and hip hop music. I got to freeze my arse off everytime I stepped outside to check out the view. It was fun all around.

The thing is, most of the people there seemed to be enjoying themselves. True they were a lot drunker than I was so that may be partly responsible. But as I sat there listening to the Macarena (and watching people do the dance) I just had to wonder, is it me? There was a time when I probably would have enjoyed that experience. In fact I've been on those cruises before and had a great time. But tonight was a pretty average experience. Have I changed? Have my tastes changed? To quote Weezer - has the world turned and left me here?

I just don't get it anymore. And to be honest I don't think I want to. I tried to get up and dance and enjoy myself but every time I tried, I failed.

So I spent a large portion of the cruise either staring out the window or up on the top deck checking out the view.

And it was a helluva view. If you've never been to Sydney, I don't know if I could describe it to you and do it any justice. But there is something about the way it all looks together. With the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House and the city lit up in the background. I find it stunning everytime I look at it.

As I continued to look out across the city I began to notice the buildings. The skyscrapers. Temples of concrete and steel. Erected to gods of finance and insurance and banking. I noticed the great lit up neon signs that spelled out the names and logos of banks and finance companies and insurance companies and etc.

I began to realise that, as pretty as they look from a distance (all lit up like a birthday cake), at their core they were empty. Soulless. Even during the day when those towers are bustling and full of people, they were dead. In fact, I thought that that's when they were probably the most empty. At least here, now, in the dark, with the lights on. At least they look pretty.

Soulless Skycrapers in the Sky.

Because its down on the street that life happens. In those buildings all there is is work and work is bullshit. Down in the pubs and the cafes and on the street corners, life is happening. People are getting drunk or laid or stabbed. But no-one is wondering what the price of gold will be next week.

I thought about all these things as I cruised around the harbour, on a boat, with a bunch of drunks. And I wondered to myself, is it me?