Myriad

It's funny the things people do when they think they're appeasing their god.

So it's early on Sunday morning (way too early) and I'm standing here listening to a man in a dress chant incantations to his imaginary friend in the sky.

There's a naked little baby boy in a tub and a bunch of people in suits and pretty dresses.

Welcome to the world kiddo. This is just one of the myriad of crazy things you're gonna be subjected to over your lifetime. I hope for your sake your parents kept your penis in one piece.

I realise that genital mutilation is a popular past time for many around the world, but I don't think keeping your various body parts in tact would be a detriment to you. But then again, what would I know. I certainly shouldn't be telling anyone how to raise their children. After all, I can barely look after myself. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with taking a sharp knife and slicing off part of a person's most sensitive organ. Pain builds character, doesn't it. None of that pesky anesthetic stuff for my son. He's gonna grow to be a real man. 'Cause if he's a winner then maybe so am I.