Myriad

I'm a torn human being.

I need to make a choice.

I need to decide whether the people I considered my friends have made an error in judgment, or whether they were never really what I would consider friends and I've only now realised it.

Truth be told, I'm no angel.

I'm far from the perfect friend, or human being. But I'd like to think that at some base level there are things that I'd do, as a matter of course, for those I cared about.

If I act like a cunt (high probability) and you are my friend, I expect you to call me out. And I can say that I've never fucked off anybody for calling me on my shit. Because everyone needs their lessons to learn.

I may well deserve to be shafted, by more than one or two people. However, if you ever did dare to call me friend, then for fuck's sake at least have the decency to say something to my face. Because I can deal with motherfuckers and all kinds of shit, but I have a hard time dealing with insincere.

I've never truly hated another human being. Although I admit that I have hated.

I've never truly fallen in love. Although I admit I have loved. Often and well.

And I have never been left feeling so empty by ones I considered so close.

I've made bad, bad decisions in recent days. And maybe now I'm paying for them. But this is the first time I've ever written anything sober with tears in my eyes.


Sorry.